Out of the Wings

Babilonia (c.1925), Armando Discépolo

Babilonia : ACT ONE , Final Scene

Babilonia, translated by Catherine Boyle

ACT ONE

Context:

Piccione, the Italian chef, educates Alcibiades about the ways of life in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Sample text

PICCIONE:: But … tell me something … (To Eustaquio.) I’m intrigued. (To Alcibiades.) What did you do before you came here?
ALCIBIADES:: Mattresses. (Repentant, he looks towards José’s room, fearful.) I’ve put my foot in it!
PICCIONE: (After looking at Eustaquio in surprise. Happy.): Ah, you sewed mattresses.This is unheard of! Nowhere else in the world. Only in Argentina. We live in a fantastic salad. Mattress maker! Eh, what can we do, we live in the land of the stew: salty, picante, sour, sweet, bitter, poison, explosive … anything goes. Into the pot! We’ll cook it all up and serve it to you! Eat, eat, or screw you! Thieves, victims, artists, businessmen, fools, professors, snakes, birds … they’re all the same: into the pot! Mix it all together and offer it up! ‘Eat it up, eat it up, or screw you!’ Jesus, what a Babylonia! ‘Ladies and Gentlemen! Let each person grab on by the fingernails, that’s all there is to it: just hang on by the fingertips.’ ‘Have you grabbed on? Very intelligent! Bravo! Bravo! … ’ What a fantasmagoric country! We don’t respect you at all, we improvise everything, and we turn it all upside down, and we transform it all. It’s like a galley of conjurers: you put in a ring and they take out an umbrella; you put in a handkerchief and they take out … (To Alcibiades, who’s blinking, tense and unmoving.) … a live struggling goose.
ALCIBIADES:: Excuse me. (Exit by the stairs.)
EUSTAQUIO:: Yes, the great galley: you put in a gambling Russian and out comes a gentleman with a car; you put in an fool with nails and out comes a gentleman in evening dress; you put in a floorsweeper and out comes an owner of a stables. The only one that doesn’t go into the galley is the Argentine. It’s a great country this … for you!

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Babilonia by Catherine Boyle is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Final Scene

Context:

This is the moment when the necklace has been discovered as missing, which builds towards the climactic ending of the play.

Sample text

EMILIA: (On the stairs.): Nobody’s to leave. We’ve been robbed. Thieves! The necklace Emma’s just been given has been stolen. It’s missing from its case. (The surprise paralyses the innocent people.) It was on the little table, in easy reach of all you as you passed by. It’s one of you! Scum!
PICCIONE: (Who feels himself above suspicion.): But is that possible?
JOSE: (Running to the street.): Police! Call the police!
EUSTAQUIO: (Reacting from out of his stupefaction, to Otto.): Don’t let him! (Otto fills the staircase. The women cry. Alcibíades is like an idiot.)
EMILIA:: Layout? (To José.) No, not yet! Nobody move! Don’t create a scene!
SECUNDINO: (Repeats incoherently.): It can’t be, I can’t believe that amongst us …
PICCIONE:: This is unheard of!
EMILIA:: Layout? Shh! Be quiet! Scum! Upstarts! You waited until a night like this .. . with the house full of distinguished people!
JOSE:: We’ve got to call the police, señora!
EMILIA:: Layout? No. The boss is coming down. (She keeps waving her hands around, surrounded by protests and weeping.)
OTTO: (Aside, to Eustaquio.): It was you!
EUSTAQUIO: (Idem.): Me? I work two weeks like a slave to get away with everything and I’m going to mess it up for that rubbish. Nonsense!
OTTO:: The necklace?
EUSTAQUIO:: Yes, I was looking at it.
OTTO:: So, who robbed it?
EUSTAQUIO:: Do you know who?
OTTO:: And now?
EUSTAQUIO:: Now we have to pay for it properly. Prison for everyone.
OTTO:: Mein Got!
PICCIONE:: Okay. … (To the group.) Stop shouting.
JOSE: (Raising his voice.): But, señora, you’re wasting time. We have to call the police!
LOLA:: No, José, no!
JOSE: (To her.): Be quiet. What are you scared of? Let them search us. We have to call the duty policeman.
D.ESTEBAN: (In his evening suit. Big belly. Strong. Jewels.): No! Shut that door. (He goes to the recess.) I don’t want scandals. Shh. Prego. We have the house full of people. Shh. The necklace will appear without the police … by force! The thief is amongst you. Shh. I don’t know who. So, who is it? Shh, be quiet! If anyone shouts I’ll burst their head. (He shakes his fist.)
PICCIONE:: Stop shouting. If you didn’t do it you don’t have to worry.
EMILIA:: Layout? Layabouts! Scum! One keeps them fed and they …
ESTEBAN: (Authoritarian.): You be quiet too. (To them.) Let’s see … Who was it? (The pitiful laments rise in tone.)
CACEROLA: (Kneeling.): It wasn’t me! (He shouts.) It wasn’t me. In the name of the sacred Virgin of Sorrows. The pound’s mine!
ESTEBAN: (To Piccione.): Make that idiot shut up.
PICCIONE:: Yes. (To the boy.) Be quiet. (He stops him with the back of his hand.)
ALCIBIADES: (Head in his hands.): Ay, good God! Good God! (He seems mad.)
LOLA: (Throwing himself at their feet.): Señor, in the name of the Virgin Mary, don’t call the police. It wasn’t José and me, señora!
JOSE: (To Lola.): Be quiet. They know that.
ISABEL:: Layout? Señora Emilia, I’ve been with you for two years, thankful for your favour, serving you like an angel. You can’t doubt me.
CHINA:: Layout? I haven’t touched a pin, señora.
EUSTAQUIO: (To Otto.): What do we do? I’ll be paying for this! The criminal! I’m off.
OTTO: (Idem.): Be quiet. That would be worse. Don’t you understand? If it isn’t you it isn’t you.
EMIILIA:: Yes, tears.
ESTEBAN:: I know. I get the picture. Get up. Stand back. Let’s see. Per favor. We will finish the party in peace. I don’t want to touch you. Let’s see … I pardon whoever it was, I swear, man or woman. Let’s go … The longer we take the worse it’ll be. Come on, quick. Who was it?
PICCIONE:: Let’s see. … The cavalier pardons. Who was it? (They ask each other, ‘Who was it?’, ‘Speak up’, ‘The señor forgives’, ‘Not me’, etc.)
EMILIA:: Layout? You won’t get anything from them. It’s useless, can’t you see that? They’re cretins.
ESTEBAN:: You don’t want to say?
JOSE:: Search us!
SECUNDINO:: Of course!
JOSE:: Let them look through our rooms. … Let them search our clothes.
EUSTAQUIO: (He feels his clothes. He feels his pockets and feels the necklace in one of them. Rigid, to Otto.): Ay!
OTTO:: What?
EUSTAQUIO:: I have it!
OTTO:: What?
EUSTAQUIO:: The necklace! (He’s about to cry.) They’ve got me! (He shows the necklace; cries.) Bloody hell. It’s that gallego. I’m going to kill him. And now what?
OTTO:: Pass it on to someone else.
ESTEBAN:: Enough! Back up into the corner, all of you scoundrels! (He’s searching them.)
EUSTAQUIO: (He calls.): Piccione … Chef …
PICCIONE: (Approaching.): What?
EUSTAQUIO:: Intervene … See if this can be sorted … (He puts the necklace in his pocket.) Sorry, eh?
PICCIONE:: Uh, this is getting ugly. (To Don Esteban.) Cavaliere …
ESTEBAN: (To the group.): Let’s go. You. Step up.
EUSTAQUIO: (Going to the corner.): Delighted.
OTTO: (Idem.): But of course!
ESTEBAN: (To Piccione.): You too, immediately.
PICCIONE:: Me?
ESTEBAN:: Tutti. Here below there’s no distinction and no categories.
PICCIONE:: Me? This is unheard of! How could I be a thief?
ESTEBAN:: Tutti!
EMILIA:: Layout? Who are you to save yourself?
SECUNDINO:: He’s a servant just like us!
ISABEL:: Layout? Here, here!
CHINA:: Layout? We’re all the same.
PICCIONE:: Lies.
ESTEBAN:: You’re the same as everyone else.
PICCIONE:: No! I refuse! Who would dare lay a finger on me? (To Don Esteban.)
ESTEBAN:: I’ll search you and search you again.
PICCIONE:: Dreams. You touch me and I’ll let on! I am Leopoldo Piccione, cavaliere!
ESTEBAN: (Backing down.): Io me nin fisqui! Go! (He gives him a push.)
PICCIONE:: To me?
ESTEBAN:: You! Go!
PICCIONE: (He shouts.): You would offend me like this? Ah no! I’ll fix that! Dear invited guests, there is an unheard of outrage going on down here!
ESTEBAN:: Be quiet!
PICCIONE:: I know you, cavalier Esteban Cocozza! You, yes, Stéfano with the beard, sailor of Mihanovicho in ’95, contrabandista at the port!
ESTEBAN:: What?
EMILIA:: Layout? Make him shut up! Make him shut up!
EUSTAQUIO:: Ay Dios, what a plateful!
PICCIONE: (To Doña Emilia.): No, I will not be quiet, Miss Washerwoman! (Pointing at Don Esteban.) I have known him shoeless, washing dishes, with his hat and his pipe, when I was a cook on the Juanita Eme.
ESTEBAN:: Shh! Be quiet, liar! (He grabs him.)
PICCIONE: (To Doña Emilia.): And I remember you with your head in a scarf!
EMILIA:: Layout? Hit him! Hit him! It must be him!
PICCIONE:: Me! I’ll hang you yet! (But he cannot deal with the boss.) Ay! Invited guests, he hits me because I have pulled the rug from under his feet!
ESTEBAN:: Tachi, vigliaco!
CACEROLA:: Professor! Here! (He offers him the potato knife.) Finish him off!
PICCIONE:: Contrabandista! (He shouts.) Jacinto Acuña, come down here, I have a shameful story to tell you!
EMMA: (Scared.): Papá! What’s all this is about? Have you all gone mad? We can hear everything!
PICCIONE: (Got rid of by one hit from Don Esteban.): Assasino!
EMILIA:: Layout? (In a quiet voice.) Scum! Scum!
EMMA:: Mamá. Jacinto wants to come down! Everyone’s asking what’s happening. … How embarrassing! (She cries.) Come up. Forget about the necklace. … I’m going to get ill, Papá.
ESTEBAN:: Yes, daughter, yes. … (Panting, he tidies up his suit.) Let’s go.
EMILIA:: Layout? Scum! Scum!
ISABEL:: Layout?(Feeling courage.) That’s not how to do it either.
SECUNDINO:: We’re not animals. We’re people.
ISABEL:: Layout? Perhaps the thief is a guest.
CARLOTA:: Of course!
SECUNDINO:: Search the people above first.
PICCIONE:: Or your son, Vitto. Very often the little angels rob.
EMILIA :: Scum! Scum!
EMMA:: Mamá. Leave them!
ESTEBAN:: Yes … we’ll sort it out later. (To Piccione.) Tomorrow!
PICCIONE:: Whenever you want and wherever you want. My life is clean. I’ve got nothing to hide and I’m not scared of you!
ESTEBAN:: Tomorrow! Tomorrow! (Emma and Doña Emilia take him away.)
PICCIONE: (Aside!): The day after tomorrow!
EUSTAQUIO: (To Otto, who holds him back.): Let me sort out that gallego.
OTTO:: Be calm for a minute!
LOLA: (Aside, to José.): And the necklace?
JOSE:: Be quiet! You’ll give me away!
SECUNDINO:: Ah, so that’s what we were dealing with? Contrabandista, washerwoman … and mute. (He shouts.) Millionaires!
ISABEL:: Layout? (Going up to Piccione, who’s trembling.) Very good, chef, very good! That’s how to defend yourself.
CARLOTA:: You were wonderful. You convinced me.
SECUNDINO:: It had to be our chance sometime. Watch this hand.
PICCIONE:: Get back, servants! It’s impossible to live with the people above or with the people below. Everything’s rotten. Up there, first they applaud you and then they send you to the galley. Here they finger you and then they spit on you. We’re all rolling in the mud. Boiling in dirty water. I’m going right now. Caceró, let’s go. We haven’t got a penny, but we’re clean. Change. (Cacerola comes out of the pantry.) Pasono me tocano.
OTTO:: That’s all very pretty, but tomorrow we’re all going to be in prison.
JOSE:: That’s right and for one of us.
PICCIONE:: No. I want to go, but without leaving anything unfinished behind. That person’s going to turn up. We’re nearly getting to the truth. Come on, now that we’re alone. Who is it?
OTTO: (Holding Eustaquio back.): Quiet.
JOSE:: If the thief’s here let him speak. We’ll all be left without bread for the sake of one. It’s cowardice. Whoever’s got the necklace should leave it and flee. We won’t stop him, right?
OTTO:: Of course! (The rest agree.)
PICCIONE:: Let’s go. Who is it? (Silence. They look at each other.)
JOSE:: Not me.
SECUNDINO:: Nor me.
ISABEL:: Layout? What do you want, not me.
CHINA:: Layout? Even less me!
CARLOTA:: I swear!
EUSTAQUIO:: Could it be me?
JOSE:: Only you could know …
ALCIBIADES:: Ay! Ay! It’s me!
JOSE:: What are you saying? (In surprise.)
ALCIBIADES:: This is getting all mixed up again. It’s too much thinking. My head can’t cope with it. I know what the end will be: I’ll be searched and it’ll be me.
JOSE:: Imbecile!
PICCIONE:: What a brute! Basta. I want to go. The search.
ALL:: Yes, let’s search.
JOSE:: Where do we start?
PICCIONE:: With me. I always go first. (He steps forward to José who goes to search him.) You? Never! A woman. (To Isabel.) You. (Smiling as he allows himself to be searched.) Of course you don’t think that I’ve got it. It’s just routine. (To the rest.) Hurry up. Hurry up.
ISABEL:: Layout? (Lifts the necklace out.) He had it! (She throws it down.)
ALL:: Him!
PICCIONE:: What?
JOSE:: How?
CACEROLA: (Who has come closer.): Professor!
PICCIONE:: No!
ALL:: Yes!
PICCIONE:: Somebody planted it on me! Who planted it on me? Who?
OTTO: (Pointing to José.): Him!
JOSE:: No …
LOLA:: No, not him!
JOSE: (Looking at Eustaquio.): He’s the thief!
EUSTAQUIO:: He planted it on me. I changed it over.
OTTO:: I saw it.
PICCIONE:: Criminal!
CACEROLA:: Beat him up! (The cowardice of the rest falls on him. He defends himself, but they hit him and beat him to the floor.)
LOLA:: No, it wasn’t him!
EUSTAQUIO:: Leave him alone! Leave him alone!
PICCIONE:: Basta! Basta! Let him take it back himself! (They lift him up, give him the necklace and take him to the staircase.) On you go up!
ALCIBIADES: (Sobbing in the proscenium.): No, poor man, no!
LOLA: (Following him.): No! It wasn’t him! It was me!
JOSE: (At the landing.): Lola … Lola …
ALL:: Señora! Señora!
ALCIBIADES:: No, cowards! No!
LOLA:: It was me! (She falls head first onto the stairs.)
ALL: (Exit.): Señora! Señora!
ALCIBIADES:: Poor man! (Disheartened, he runs.) Ah, no! I can’t stand this! Air! Fresh air! (He runs towards the street, without his smoking jacket, pulling at his collar.)
ALL:: Señora! Señora!