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• Staging information
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• Sample translations
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• Three of Us in the Half-Light : ACT ONE , ACT TWO , ACT THREE

Three of Us in the Half-Light, translated by Gwynneth Dowling

ACT ONE

Context:

Alfredo is explaining to his good friend Sebastian a few of his tricks for attracting women. In the course of the play, the only woman who finds his joke about the donkey funny will be Paca, the maid he finally marries.

Sample text

SEBASTIAN:

Always chasing women! Don’t you get bored?

ALFREDO:

Don’t you get bored of going fishing? Well mine’s a much more exciting sport. There’s no way you could imagine the immense satisfaction I get from finding new types of bait to reel them in. A catchy new line, a new way of doing things, a new way of lighting the room. Look at this gizmo… (He shows him a little machine with a lever, on the floor to the left-hand side of the sofa.) In a few days, when the plumber comes, this thing will be producing artificial rain.

SEBASTIAN:

Artificial rain? Why?

ALFREDO:

I’m getting some piping on the roof installed with holes in it. If I’m entertaining some girl and she gets up to leave for some reason, I’ll just pull this lever and it’ll start pouring. That way, she’ll wait here until I decide to stop the downpour.

SEBASTIAN:

What a ruse!

ALFREDO:

That’s the technical side sorted out. As far as conversation goes, why just today I came up with a new line. A woman’s first visit here is always a little awkward for both of us. You’ve got to say something clever. But something that also surprises them and makes them laugh. So… the first thing any of them ever notices is this toy donkey here. (He gestures to a huge toy donkey.) And guess what I’ve come up with when they notice the donkey?

SEBASTIAN:

What?

ALFREDO:

It goes like this: ‘A donkey is a horse that hasn’t been to school’. Like it?

SEBASTIAN: (Not understanding it at all.)

It’s very witty. But some will get it and some won’t.

ALFREDO:

It doesn’t matter if they don’t get it. It just has to make them laugh.

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three of Us in the Half-Light by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT TWO

Context:

Alfredo is trying to have a romantic evening with Elena. She does not find his joke about the donkey funny and also sets him straight about Mariví, who uses men just as he uses women.

Sample text

ELENA:

… And you should move this horse out of the way.

ALFREDO:

It’s not a horse, it’s a donkey.

ELENA:

Well it looks like a horse.

ALFREDO:

It’s a donkey. At the end of the day, it’s a horse that hasn’t been to school.

ELENA: (Picking up one of the photographs of Mariví.)

What did you say?

ALFREDO:

That a donkey, at the end of the day, is a horse that …

ELENA:

This is Mariví!

ALFREDO:

… hasn’t been to school.

ELENA:

Stop with the unfunny jokes. This is Mariví, isn’t it?

ALFREDO:

You know her?

ELENA:

Of course I know her! Why do you have so many pictures of her? What went on between you?

ALFREDO:

Nothing. Read what she’s written.

ELENA: (Reading.)

‘For Alfredo, my first and only love. I promise to love you, always.’ What’s the meaning of this?

ALFREDO:

That she stopped loving me before the ink was dry.

ELENA:

And did she move on to someone else?

ALFREDO:

Possibly. I haven’t seen her since.

ELENA:

And apart from this … ‘love’, was there anything else between you?

ALFREDO:

Mariví’s a real lady! It’s not true what they say about her …

ELENA:

Not true! You men are such idiots. So easily deceived! No doubt she told you that you were the first man she’d ever kissed.

ALFREDO:

How did you know?

ELENA:

For goodness sakes, Alfredo! They teach us girls to say that in school!

ALFREDO:

And they teach us not to believe it.

ELENA:

But you did believe it.

ALFREDO:

Sometimes you get an exception.

ELENA:

I don’t know of any. I know Mariví’s mother very well, and I can tell you the names of all her daughter’s boyfriends.

ALFREDO:

Are there that many?

ELENA:

Weren’t you one of them?

ALFREDO:

I didn’t get the time. She disappeared after three days …

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three of Us in the Half-Light by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

ACT THREE

Context:

Alfredo has a cold and has not entertained many women of late. Sebastian, on the other hand, cannot keep up with the number of women who want him. This makes Alfredo very jealous.

Sample text

SEBASTIAN: (Getting up.)

Well, I’m off. I’ve a date.

ALFREDO:

Who with?

SEBASTIAN:

She’s new. You don’t know her.

ALFREDO:

You’re getting very silly, what with all these dates.

SEBASTIAN:

Oh yes. It’s just hilarious that I now have to go and flirt and have lunch with a fat woman.

ALFREDO:

Why do you go, then?

SEBASTIAN:

Because these women won’t leave me in peace! Because my wife, ever since she found out about my little conquests, won’t stop going on about them to her friends.

ALFREDO:

So?

SEBASTIAN:

What do you mean ‘so’? It’s impossible to live up to the hype. Each and every one of her friends flutters their eyelashes at me these days. And as the hype grows the interest grows … and I’m sick of it!

ALFREDO:

Don’t exaggerate.

SEBASTIAN:

I’m not exaggerating one bit. You bachelors, you don’t know what it’s like having a wife hyping you up around town. If you got married, which is what you should do, you’d soon know what was what.

ALFREDO:

Are you trying to say that I’ve not had any flings? That I’m not having any at the moment?

SEBASTIAN:

Bachelor flings are silly little things. Women want something bigger. They want a huge affair, filled with torments and danger. That’s why they prefer us.

ALFREDO:

I’m really starting to dislike you Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN:

Why?

Copyright

The above sample taken from the translation Three of Us in the Half-Light by Gwynneth Dowling is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Entry written by Gwynneth Dowling. Last updated on 13 October 2011.

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